Self Control

Self Control is not my area of expertise. I can't tell you how many people have told me, "Crissy, just because you're thinking it doesn't mean you have to say it." I lack self control when it comes to eating. In large groups, I lack the self control to not compulsively make my voice heard or myself seen. I am very quick to get angry and sin in my anger. I'm sure there are many more examples.

Recently, God has given me the gift of seeing myself the way others have seen me. I was not impressed. He showed me that I can't be taken seriously if I'm always thinking of something funny to say. Something else that I had never thought of before, the Lord helped me to see; I often try to be funny or silly, because I don't think that anyone will find anything else I have to say to be all that interesting. But, if I'm speaking His word, it's interesting. And there are other things about me that are interesting. If he is using me, I will be heard. I also came to realize that people, even people I love, can't respect me if I never show restraint. How can others respect you, if you don't respect yourself? Luckily though, I have a Father who does not take my dignity, but restores it.

Here's the twist: God made me. He made me exactly the way he wanted me to be. When He finished making me, He looked at me and said, "It is good." He did not say, "Oops, well, she'll have to do." God made me witty. He can use me in ways that He can't use others, because of how awesome He made me. But I have to practice self control. I have to know when to be silent and when to speak up. I can find out when that is in His word. I already know to be silent in my anger. Just have to do it. I have to use self control when it comes to diet and exercise so He can use me longer. I can't wait to see what He will do with me now. I hope I can allow Him to mold me.

Today I found myself, after searching all these years, and the man that I saw, he wasn't at all who I'd thought he'd be. I was lost when You found me here, and I was broken beyond repair then You came along and sang Your song over me. - Born Again, by Third Day.