Self Control

Self Control is not my area of expertise. I can't tell you how many people have told me, "Crissy, just because you're thinking it doesn't mean you have to say it." I lack self control when it comes to eating. In large groups, I lack the self control to not compulsively make my voice heard or myself seen. I am very quick to get angry and sin in my anger. I'm sure there are many more examples.

Recently, God has given me the gift of seeing myself the way others have seen me. I was not impressed. He showed me that I can't be taken seriously if I'm always thinking of something funny to say. Something else that I had never thought of before, the Lord helped me to see; I often try to be funny or silly, because I don't think that anyone will find anything else I have to say to be all that interesting. But, if I'm speaking His word, it's interesting. And there are other things about me that are interesting. If he is using me, I will be heard. I also came to realize that people, even people I love, can't respect me if I never show restraint. How can others respect you, if you don't respect yourself? Luckily though, I have a Father who does not take my dignity, but restores it.

Here's the twist: God made me. He made me exactly the way he wanted me to be. When He finished making me, He looked at me and said, "It is good." He did not say, "Oops, well, she'll have to do." God made me witty. He can use me in ways that He can't use others, because of how awesome He made me. But I have to practice self control. I have to know when to be silent and when to speak up. I can find out when that is in His word. I already know to be silent in my anger. Just have to do it. I have to use self control when it comes to diet and exercise so He can use me longer. I can't wait to see what He will do with me now. I hope I can allow Him to mold me.

Today I found myself, after searching all these years, and the man that I saw, he wasn't at all who I'd thought he'd be. I was lost when You found me here, and I was broken beyond repair then You came along and sang Your song over me. - Born Again, by Third Day.

This week

This week has not been productive. Too many sickies in the house. I am praying for a better up coming week.

This week I've been thinking about how satan can get to us psychologically. Recently, God has done some amazing things with and around me. But the enemy has a way of putting blinders on us. The enemy wants us to see our Father's magnificence as insignificant.

I am the queen of internal pitty parties and satan knows that. The enemy knows how to distract me. The enemy knows exactly what buttons to push to get me to have my little pitty parties. That is how he blinds me. What's the old saying? "You can't see the field for the trees." Or something like that. Well, that's exactly the state of mind satan needs me to be in, in order to keep me from praising my God.

I've even been praying, "God, give some encouragement." But, my encouragement is right in front of me, all the time. So yesterday, while praying, my little-big voice said, "Snap out of it my dear." And, I was reminded of all the things I have to praise Him for. And how insignificant my distractions are compared to all the magnificence he has done for me. I am right where He wants me in my places of service, my home life is more wonderful than I ever thought it could be, my whole family is healthy, (except little things that an antibiotic can't take care of) I'm right where he wants me to be for work, and, by the way, I have a house and a car, and many many comforts.

I'm going to start praying this: From now on when the jerk of the earth tries to distract me I'm going to run down my loooong list of blessings and snap out of it. I will pray the same prayer for all of you.

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
—Matthew 22:37-40

Today is my 3 year anniversary!

It's been a long 3 years! But God has worked His glorious magic in our hearts and we are now a powerful testimony for Isaiah 40:31. I'm not sure what our plans are although I have already received a card, so already I know it's going to be acknowledged...as it should. I however, did not buy anything yet. I don't so much enjoy buying gifts. That's Ryan's area of expertise.

I am going to try to update this blog more often than my other blogs(there's hundreds). I would also like to figure out how to post pictures, once and for all.